Guessing Baby's Gender: Old Wives' Tales

As of today, the vote was EIGHT to NONE that Peanut would be a boy.

All the signs were there:

1. "Boy = all belly, Girl = hips and thighs" - my belly seemed to have grown while my hips and thighs looked the same.
2. I was carrying low = BOY, instead of high (GIRL).
3. The Ring Test (also known as the Needle Test) - when dangling a ring on a string over my belly, it moved up and down (BOY) instead of circles (GIRL).
4. Morning sickness was mild = BOY
5. Courtney dreamt Peanut was a boy. 

Also, half the voters had that gut instinct that said "BOY".

THEY WERE WRONG.

Today's 20 week Ultrasound found nothing 'sticking out' where Peanut's pee pee would have been IF it were a boy. So Peanut is most likely a GIRL!

Of course we won't know for sure until Peanut is born, but I'm going to start referring to Peanut in the feminine now. :)

Here's Peanut kicking back while chomping on her hand. She was taking a little break from the vigorous kicking and butterfly-arm-stroking that characterized most of that 30 minute ultrasound.

New Projects: Well Rounded Parents = Well Rounded Kids?

So I'm into week 19 now and Peanut has been steadily moving up towards my belly button. Peanut has quite a personality I think. Peanut is most relaxed in the morning when I first awake. Anytime I work out, Peanut seems to work out too - after my runs, my uterus gets h-a-r-d and stays that way for hours.

Anticipating being a parent makes me want to be the best mom I can be for the baby. I want to be a well-rounded mom.

I haven't played or felt like playing the piano for ages. But I'm picking it up again so Peanut can listen to some music. Not very nice music, but hey. I've also been learning guitar using books borrowed from the library. And I figured I might as well take up violin again while I'm at it :p.

I've also been brushing up on my Mandarin so that I can talk to Peanut in Mandarin, in addition to Malay and other Chinese dialects that I know. That way, Peanut will be able to get around okay whenever we visit Malaysia.  Maybe even be able to make small talk with Popo and Kung Kung in Hakka :)

Scored a used Yamaha DGX203 on Craigslist for $50!

Exercise During Pregnancy: Some Rules

I ran regularly before getting pregnant, and was determined to continue throughout my pregnancy.

The first trimester was sort of a bust though. Jogging however slow compounded my nausea, so I was limited to long walks most days. The best I felt was during the Trailapalooza where I ran and walked 30 km over 12 hours.

Beginning the second trimester, nausea-free, I started enjoying my runs again and am hitting the trails a few times a week. Nothing hardcore - between 5 - 10 km over an hour or so, so it's an easy pace. I'm also doing 'Prenatal Yoga' (by Shiva Rea), 'The Perfect Pregnancy Workout' (by Karyn Steben) and P90X (with modifications).

A Few Pregnant Lady Workout 'Rules'

• Whatever exercises you were doing before getting pregnant are largely OK to continue at the same level during pregnancy, with modifications (lay off aggressive ab exercises that could cause diastasis recti (ab separation) e.g., sit ups, crunches).
• Don't overheat as this could harm baby.  You should be able to carry on a conversation while working out.
• Keep hydrated!

xoxo

Failure to Pee, and Where is My Uterus?

Over a week ago, into Week 14, something strange happened. I went to pee, but my trudge to the bathroom was rewarded by a mere dribble. I still felt my bladder was full, but nothing else appeared.

With a preexisting medical condition that I've lived with for 13 years, and one that involves kidneys, peeing and urine dipsticks, I immediately got worried. What if my kidneys were acting up?

But the dipstick showed no protein in my urine.

I pushed down on my lower abdomen, feeling for where my bladder would be. Instead, my fingers encountered a hard lump the size of an orange, just above my pubic bone. I was 100% sure that was never there before. Now that got me really concerned. I prodded it. I pushed down hard on it. Was this my bladder - full, and hard? I read that failure of the bladder to empty can result in urinary tract infections and even spread to the kidneys.

Worse - was this some sort of tumor?? (You can see I have hypochondriac tendencies).

Guess what. That hard lump was actually Peanut.

Where is my uterus?
I feel a little embarrassed to be admitting this, but I thought Peanut was located somewhere near my belly button. Actually, the uterus starts way low in the abdomen, and only begins to rise out above the pubic bone around Week 14.

So all this while I was cradling my growing belly thinking that's where Peanut was, and I was actually cradling my small intestines. :p

In the coming weeks though, the uterus should continue to rise until it reaches my belly button and beyond. In fact fundal height, which is measured from the top of the pubic bone to the top of the uterus, is used to quite accurately indicate fetal growth.

Back to Pee Problems
Towards the end of Week 14, Peanut was more noticeably peeking out of the top of my pubic bone. And with that, I guess the pressure on my bladder or urethra or such, eased. Now I pee just fine. (Thought you might like to know :)).

Breaking Baby News to Family

Courtney

After Pa & Ma, we decided to tell Courtney that she was going to be a big sister. It was no easy task getting the chance to do that. Courtney has a crazy busy social life, and often misses her weekends with us due to parties, sleepovers and such.

Fortunately we managed to lure her over for the weekend with the promise of Breaking Dawn and Olive Garden. :)

At home, in the evening, we sat her down. Spencer started the process. 

Spencer:   Can you keep a secret?

Courtney: Immediately looks suspicious

Spencer:   Well, can you?

Courtney: Erm. Yeah.

Spencer:   Ok. Well... you're going to be a big sister. Grace is pregnant.

Courtney: Hands over mouth, turns bright red

Grace:      Courtney, are you okay?

Courtney: Speechless

Anyway, I think that went pretty well hehe. We swore Courtney to secrecy until Thanksgiving lunch, which was when we planned to break the news to the Clarks. After recovering from her shock, Courtney quickly got down to helping us pick out baby names. :)

Popo and Kung Kung

The same weekend we had an appointment to meet Popo and Kung Kung on Skype. After a small technical glitch (ah technology), we got down to the business. Popo was happy to hear the news, cautioning me not to put on too much weight: "No wonder that day I noticed your face look fat". Yes Popo hehe. 

The Clarks

A few days later at the Clark Thanksgiving Meal (which we hosted this year), Spencer executed our plan to break the news to them. The plan was, before the prayer for the meal, to go around the table and have everyone say what they were thankful for, ending with Spencer's announcement, which went something like this:

"I would like to thank all of you for coming and spending Thanksgiving here with Grace and I. And I am thankful for the baby that is growing inside Grace."

And that was that. :p

Breaking the Baby news to Pa & Ma

Yesterday night Spencer and I sat down to Skype with Pa & Ma. I asked for the chat meet on the pretext of 'I miss you la'.

But of course, the REAL reason was because we wanted to tell them about Peanut. You see, many years ago, Pa & Ma promised that the only reason they would make that arduous 25+ hour journey from Malaysia to the US would be if we could manufacture a Baby for them. Time to make good on that promise!

Unfortunately, our planned strategy of breaking the news to them didn't work. (Spencer had predicted it wouldn't but I didn't believe him!)

The Strategy

We started by giving them a visual tour of our home and the current state of renovations. Then we told them that we would also be renovating the upstairs room for them to stay.

Me:  So, can you come visit us ah?

Pa:   Cannnn. When is a good time to come?

Me:  Middle of May (that's when Peanut is expected).

Pa:   Okay. 

Me:  (Wow this is going better than I thought!)

Pa:   Wait... Faith cannot miss school wor.

Me:  You and Mama come la. 

Pa:    Nobody to take care of Faith wor. 

Me:  Faith so big girl already. (ok, this is not going well after all hehe)

Pa:    We come later la. End of the year?

Me:   Noooo! Must come in May! And bring those herbal mixes!

Ma:   Hah? What herbal mixes? Why must be in May?

Me:   ....

Pa:   No la, end of the year better.

Me:   .... (aaaaargh!)

Ma:  So..... when you going to make a baby hah? We will visit you when you got baby la. We bring herbs and all that.

Me:   ...

Ma:   When ah?

Me:  In May la. You come in May. 

Spencer:   We got baby la. (So there, we told them. Not in the smoothest way. But yeah, we told them).

Ma:  You faster make baby la.

Me:  ?????   ... Got already la! 

Pa & Ma:  ....

Me:  Wait, I show you my belly. (I showed them my belly)

Pa:  Got nothing also. 

Spencer & I:  ....  (don't know what to say already).

Ma:  I don't believe!

Sigh!!! At that point, our carefully thought out and genius strategy of breaking the baby news to my parents had totally disintegrated, and Spencer and I were scrambling to find proof that Peanut wasn't made up. So we showed them this:

After that, Ma & Pa got it hehe.

Now, how should we break the news to the rest of the family? 

Genetic test results - Out of the Woods!

Three weeks since my last post! I blame all-day sickness for my lack of motivation to do anything but sit around all day.

The test for Downs and Trisomy 13 came out NEGATIVE. I was told that the ratio was 1:935 for Downs, which is excellent. What a load off my chest! Now to figure out how to break the news to the family...

Below is the ultrasound at 11 weeks, taken last week. I was told that peanut was cooperative. The technician managed to get the nuchal measurements within five minutes. Apparently sometimes it could take an hour to persuade the baby into the right position. All the tech had to do was push (kinda hard) on the right side of my belly - I was told that that shifted the amniotic fluid and annoyed peanut just enough to turn its head away.

My feelings when I saw peanut emerge on that screen were indescribable. For most part I felt incredulous, like, is that for real, that is growing inside me, like, right now? Peanut's arms were flailing about in a very passable butterfly swim stroke, and legs were doing frenetic air-cycling motions. The fella is going to be a Triathlete for sure.

I couldn't stop grinning. I wish Spencer coulda been there though.

A competitive peanut

It was a tough race, but this past weekend, baby completed a 30 km trail run over 12 hours of the Trailapalooza at Hidden Valley Resort in PA. Spencer did 50 km and over 10,000 ft elevation gain, thus pulling the weight for our three person team. Well, it was officially a two person team hehe.

I believe this is the first of many athletic pursuits that baby will undertake.

I was relieved that the morning sickness seems to have eased. I didn't hardly feel discomfort throughout the run. I ate lots - two egg salad sandwiches, two ham sandwiches, hard boiled egg, sweet potato, half loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, yoghurt. :)

Team Honeymooners at the start of the Trailapalooza, in costume as Leonidas and
Wife. About 2 1/2 months then.

Evening Sickness is Good for Pregnancy

I haven't posted the past week. I haven't been feeling up to doing much at all!

Week 8 of pregnancy has seen the intensification of nausea. The term 'morning sickness' is a misnomer. I have Evening Sickness at the moment.

I wake up feeling fantastic. Then after breakfast, things go steadily downhill :/


By evening, I'm not a happy camper. I can barely get down dinner.

Whatever dinner gets down, stays down though. Or rather, stays put. It doesn't go anywhere - gas is the natural result.

I take all this to mean that I have good, high levels of pregnancy hormones. LOVELY!

Now please excuse me while I burp.

No Worries: 24 Hr Protein Creatinine Normal Whoopee

Just a quick update - I spoke with the nurse about my test results for the 24 hour protein and creatinine. While they were flagged as 'high', I was told I have nothing to worry about as the results were within the normal range for pregnancy. I cannot overstate how relieved I felt hearing that!

Midwives at Magee VS The Midwife Center on the Strip?

The Midwife Center (TMC) was my first choice but was fully booked at when I called back in September. So I went with Midwives at Magee (MM), and so far so good (although I've only really seen the OB at Maternal and Fetal Medicine).

Then two days back I get a call from TMC that there was an opening. When I told them I was considered 'High Risk', I was asked to fax over my medical records so they could evaluate themselves if they would be comfortable taking me on. TMC normally only accepts low-risk pregnancies.

Choices, Choices
Here's what I've read about TMC and MM:

TMC seems more natural, less intervention and more flexible - you're allowed to eat and drink during labor, and you labor and deliver in the birthing room (stirrups not required). A good review on TMC here. However, TMC only accepts low-risk pregnancies. And if complications (e.g. breech) develop, you might be transferred to Mercy Hospital and lose control of your envisioned birth plan.

MM is right down the aisle from Maternal and Fetal Medicine, which is ideal if you have a high-risk pregnancy. This is in fact, their speciality. While this has been reassuring to me and the OB has assured me she will involve me in any decisions relating to 'managing' my pregnancy, I still feel concerned about the level of intervention the OB will assume. Ok, I'm downright uncomfortable. I can't help it. Doctors have bossed me around for half my life and I don't want to be 'managed' during my pregnancy. Yet I know I'll be in good hands if any complications arise.

Oh well. Let's see how this goes. :)

(Update: I was told by TMC that I was too high-risk for them to care for me. And I should come back for my second birth if the first went well.)

Full Test Results: Should I be Worried?

The results trickled in over several days on my UPMC Healthtrak. 

The first ones I got were:

• Random Urine Creatinine: 26 mg/dL (no normal ranges available for random urine specimens)
• Urine Protein: 4 mg/dL (no normal ranges available for random urine specimens)

I wasn't really able to interpret these without the reference ranges.

Next was the Urinalysis. Normal results. I also found out that the Urine Culture was a no-go because of contamination and might have to retake that one.

The next to come in were the results for the 24 hour Creatinine and Urine Protein. Those were 'High', and I'm not sure if I should start worrying yet. According to Google, these may still fall within ranges that are normal during pregnancy. Whatever it is, my OB should be contacting me soon to let me know what's up.

However, the Creatinine test came out well.

And so did the Obstetric Panel - the bloodwork.

 And finally (for now anyway):

• Type and Screen - Galileo ABO RH: O Positive
• Antibody Screen: Negative

First Ultrasound at 8 weeks 2 days

The big news of the day is (according to the transvaginal ultrasound): baby is in the uterus! And not implanted some other place that it shouldn't be.

And from the looks of it, So Far So Good. Heartbeat is 174 beats per minute, the size from head to rump is normal.

There's also a cyst on my right ovary, which I was told is normal in early pregnancy as this is likely the Corpus Luteal Cyst that produces pregnancy hormones and feeds baby in the first trimester. It should disappear by itself soon.

And I'm 8 weeks 2 days. Not 7 weeks 4 days like I thought hehe.

Kidneys?
Good! I think. The urinanalysis showed negative proteinuria. The protein levels were 4 mg/dl, and random creatinine was 26 mg/dl. I think that's good, but will wait to see if the doctor agrees.

Baby is in the gestational sac (black area). Head is left, rump is right. The dark area within the head is the forming neural cavity (brain).

Bad Timing for a 24 Hour Urine PCI Test

I've been testing negative for protein in my urine for months now.

And right when the doctor orders a 24 Hour test to get a baseline UPCI, my protein level increases to 'Trace'. Lack of sleep, dust and odors from a fresh spate of mortaring in the kitchen, and bad restaurant food are the likely contributors.

If the results of the test are bad, i.e., show protein, I might be put right back on the steroids. I can't begin to tell you how upsetting that thought is. :(((((

How to Collect 24 hr Pee

1. Upon waking, note the time (say 9 am).
2. Pee, and discard this first pee.
3. Collect all the rest of the pee for the next 24 hours, including your 9 am wake up first pee. As you collect it, keep it chilled. They recommend a cooler, on ice. I just put mine in the fridge :p

Damage Control
To try improve my dipstick results the two days before the 24 hour collection, I stuck to my normal diet, drank lots, drank fresh vegetable juice, and slept. This morning I woke up at 10.30 am. Pee stick was all-clear. 

Fingers crossed for a good UPCI.

First Visit to Doctor and Feeling Blue

The doctor who saw me today was nice, but left me a little depressed.

'Pregnancy is a Problem'
That's how I feel my pregnancy was viewed. With my pre-existing autoimmune condition, and history of kidney problems, I'm a high-risk pregnancy. I will need very careful monitoring (kidney function) and at the slightest sign of kidneys acting up, I might be forced to get back on the steroids that I have worked so hard to wean off.

In My Favor
I have been stable (relapse-free) for over a year, and medication-free for eight months. I am in pretty good physical shape, running a few times a week and eating reasonably healthy too.

My Plea
Dear Doctor, I have been sick for so many years and have been 'managed' for so long by doctors. Doctors who mean well, but at times make me feel small and voiceless. I wish, especially during my pregnancy, to have a say in what happens to my body. I desperately wish to feel empowered, not helpless.

The Plan
I'm to do the 24 hour urine collection to measure my protein levels, then get bloodwork done for creatinine and other things. And an ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday.

Morning Sickness is Awesome!

At Week 7, I am happy to announce that I have graduated from mild nausea to moderate nausea plus currently possess a heightened sensitivity to odors. I never thought I would be happy about this, but I really am.

I am also grateful for the indigestion, bloating, flatulence and fatigue.

Not 'feeling pregnant' worried me. I worried that my pregnancy hormone levels weren't high enough to cause the typical symptoms, thus maybe not high enough to sustain the pregnancy.

So I embrace all this with a degree of relief.

Bring on Week 8!

No Morning Sickness: Should I be Worried?

Morning sickness should start around the first month of pregnancy, or as late as the 6th week. It is supposed to peak in the 8th to 9th week and end around week 16.

I'm about 7 weeks pregnant and wondering when the Morning Sickness is going to hit me and turn me into a pukie-monster.

Aside from very mild nausea when I let my tummy go empty and when I go on long car rides, I have seen no signs of the puke fest I was mentally preparing myself for.

Celebrate or Worry?
At first I was happy at the prospect that I wouldn't be vomiting my guts out. Then, being the worry wart that I am, I started to wonder if something was wrong.

Apparently, morning sickness is Good. If you are 'blessed' with morning sickness:

• You are less likely to miscarry. Especially if you are over 35 (which I am). 
• Baby will be smarter.
• bla bla bla

Pregnancy Hormones bring on the Puke
According to the Mayo Clinic, the climb in pregnancy hormones (human chorionic gonadotropin or HCG) is related to the onset of nausea. This is normal and apparently needed for a healthy pregnancy.

Levels of HCG are highest in the morning. Combined with the empty stomach in the morning, this usually results in morning sickness.

I definitely feel it more in the morning, but again, it is mild. I am able to swallow and hold down my supplements as usual, with a full glass of water. Then when I take my breakfast 15 minutes later, I feel totally normal.

I never thought I'd say this but... I really wish for Full On Morning Sickness. 

Let's see what Week 8 and 9 will bring.  :p

Stay at Home Mommy?

There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of respect for homemakers / housewives / stay-at-home moms... The thought that I will be joining those ranks has me mix-feeling-ed.

Are You Experienced?
I've been working from home for many years and did well with that. My former employer FRIM graciously accommodated my hypersensitivity syndrome by allowing me to carry out my work responsibilities from my home office. From this I know I'm disciplined enough to set my own hours and get projects done on time.

Working from home saved time (no commute) and money (no need to dress up), and increased my productivity. Being able to set my own hours allowed me to rest whenever I needed to, exercise on my own time, and thus keep in good health. Good health is a big deal to me. 

A Decision I can Live With
I wanted to make a baby. I also wanted to make money. I decided I will try to make a living working from home, as a stay-at-home mom.

I can already hear naysayers' "What a waste of all that education" and other remarks along that line. But you know what - I can live with that. If you haven't lived in my shoes, you may not understand my priorities. :p

To give myself the best chance of a successful pregnancy and mommyhood (without relapsing), I need to keep my stress levels low. I got well and have stayed well by understanding what my body needs, what it can take, and by taking care of myself. I intend to stay well, now even more than ever.

Some Plans
Fortunately, hubs makes enough to support us so that we can get by without me working. With hubs' blessing, I've been pursuing several stay-at-home ventures: blogging, cooking, cooking classes, sports massages and so forth. These are all things that I can do from home, at my own schedule, and that I really enjoy doing.

It's too early to say, but I think the return on investment for my time/effort spent on these ventures will be positive.

Fingers crossed!

Keeping Pregnancy News Secret: EPIC FAIL?

The other evening, Koo Koo inadvertently, most publicly, and quite prematurely announced my 'bun in the oven' to the entire Lim clan and all my Malaysian side of the family.

For this we can thank Steve Jobs and the Power of the iPhone.

Koo Koo had started a family iMessage chat talking about pumpkins. At the same time, I was messaging her directly too.

Before you know it, a message popped out on the family iMessage that I knew was meant only for me...

'Go eat! I won't talk about the bun in your oven'. 

Uh. Oh.

I quickly figured out that editing and deleting that particular message from my phone did not delete it from others' phones.

Damage Control Strategy
In full damage control mode, I strategized with Koo Koo to flood the family iMessage with a bunch of chatty messages so the baby announcement would get lost in the deluge.

Koo Koo recovered magnificently. She outdid herself posting photos of her baked creations. I posted about baking pastries, pies, pizzas and... buns... in my oven. She talked about bulk baking and bulk food making and utilizing freezer space.

We wrapped up the deluge discussing the merits of our freezers and how many deer I could fit in mine.

Success?
So far so good. Only Jessica noticed the snafu, but after reading our strategically placed deluge, even she believed that Koo Koo literally meant a bun in an oven. Besides, Jessica already knows hehe. So it's all good!

I Don't 'Feel' Pregnant?!

I can tell I am going to be a Huge Worry Wart.

I worry that my boobs don't feel as tender as they did in Week 5. And they haven't increased much in size at all.

And this morning, after a sleepless night, I noticed a teeny pink spot on my panties when I went potty.

Then what about the few sharp pains in my lower tummy yesterday during my evening walk?

Please tell me I don't need to worry....

Keeping Pregnancy News Secret: Fail Again!

Last time I broke the secret, I could blame the Universe.

This time I blame the pregnancy hormones.

Why I blame the pregnancy hormones? Well, because I have no other reason. 

Unless I were to blame myself and my inability to keep a secret. And why would I do that? :p

Chatting with Family is Dangerous

I was whatsapping with my sis Jessica, planning the family trip that would take place around the time of Eirene (my sis) and Ben's wedding. I'd been proposing a post-wedding mid-March family trip for a while. 

Problem is, with the latest development multiplying rapidly in my uterus, a mid-March trip would no longer be feasible. I figured I'd need to be on the plane back to the US by mid-March - before the seventh month of pregnancy. 

So I started suggesting a pre-wedding family trip...

Grace: Erm by the way. Can we plan for the family holiday to be before Eirene's wedding ah.

Jess:    I think we must go after wedding.

Grace: If after the wedding then maybe I cannot wor.

Jess:    Really ah why. I thought we said after the wedding is more better. 

Grace: Have to fly back to USA before mid-March possibly. Not 100% sure yet.

Jess:    Then we do directly after wedding la. 

Grace: Okay like that maybe can. (Wedding is March 2)

Jess:    You still keen on NZ with Spencer right?

Grace: No more NZ. Spencer say plan need to change.

Jess:    Why? Expensive izzit?

Grace: He feel not worth if I can't really do any whitewater kayaking or climbing.

Jess:    Why can't you?

Grace: I kenot tell yet.

Jess:    Omg... Wat wat. Wat.  Whatttttttttt.

So much for keeping it a secret from Jess. :)

Who will be the next to know? :p

Worry Wart: How I Coped with my Baby Fears

I was (and still am) worried that baby would be 'broken'.

Not just piffling fears of missing digits, or even more serious worries about Downs Syndrome. I worried that baby would inherit my autoimmune illness. I also worried that pregnancy would bring on a relapse of my autoimmune illness and hurt baby.

To help alleviate some of my fears, I had already implemented some major stuff:

Before Project Make Baby: Project Make Abs
In preparation for Project Make Baby, I had worked hard to get my body in the best possible condition I knew how.

• I weaned off the steroids I'd been put on to suppress my immune system (to control the HSP). I'd been off the steroids for nearly a year.
• I began exercising to make my body strong. I swam, biked and ran. A LOT. I even did P90X. I did get stronger. I got into the best physical shape of my life. All that exercise banished my steroid-induced osteoporosis too.

I feel less worry about being pregnant because it happened when I was in great shape and solidly in remission.

Crossing Bridges
I'll cross any bridges if and when I get to them. Say if I relapsed and had to get back on the meds. This would be one of the worst case scenarios, I think. And even then, I've been repeatedly assured that the steroids are okay to be taken throughout pregnancy.

If baby comes out broken, I'll deal with it then. No point worrying about stuff I have no control over.

Right? 

Keep Pregnancy Secret Till Second Trimester: Fail!

Project Top Secret
One of the things hubs and I talked about the night we found out I was pregnant, was to keep this news under wraps until baby had made the 'Three Month Milestone'.

Many miscarriages happen in the first three months, so it made sense to hold off announcing the happy news prematurely.

Project Top Secret: FAIL

Erm. Yeah.

Project Top Secret lasted all of 10 hours.

For this failure, I blame a few things:

1. My fears and needing to talk to a doctor about them.
2. The Universe
3. I am not very good at keeping secrets... Ok, I suck at keeping secrets. 

Factor #1: My fears
I was worried about the baby being 'broken'. Being 37, odds of bearing a Downs Syndrome babe were higher. Also, my pre-existing condition Henoch Schonlein Purpura (HSP) with kidney involvement put me in the high-risk pregnancy category. My beloved doctor Prof Dr Norella Kong who specializes in taking care of women with lupus and has seen through successful lupus pregnancies, had assured me HSP is not passed down to the baby. Yet, how could I not worry? I wanted to talk with Koo Koo (my Aunt Josephine, a doctor in Australia), but also wanted to keep it secret from the family. Koo Koo is my go-to-person whenever I need a medical physician's objective take on health stuff. I have a distrust for most doctors, but Koo Koo, I can at least listen to.

Factor #2: The Universe
Call it a sixth sense or whatever, but what were the odds of Koo Koo calling right after we found out I was pregnant?

KK: Hi Grace!
Me:  Hi Koo Koo!
KK: So, how's the baby-making coming along?
Me: (stunned) Erm. Ah. Erm. (I did not see that coming!)
KK: ...
Me: Erm. We just found out I'm pregnant, like, last night.
KK: Well done!
Me: Erm. You can't tell anyone.

I was conflicted about keeping the baby news hush hush, but the stars seemed to have conspired against me.

Factor #3
Let's just not go there this time k? :p

Moving On
I swore Koo Koo to doctor patient confidentiality and she promised not to tell anyone. She gave a lot of good advice: take folic acid, avoid raw milk, raw fish, etc. She allayed my fears of Downs, and informed me about genetic testing.

So, we're all good. :)

And, I haven't told anyone else.

Yet. :p

iPregnant?

Two nights ago, on 22 September 2012, I peed on a stick and found out I was somewhat pregnant.

A bit of background: TMI alert!

(actually you need to refrain from reading anything at all from this blog if you are allergic to 'To Much Information').

Hubs and I have been enthusiastically enjoying 'practicing' making a baby since I got back to the US in April this year. 

I've always ovulated predictably (which came in handy when trying not to get pregnant, i.e., basal temperature method). So I figured it was just a matter of time before something took. Hubs on the other hand was supremely confident that it would be a one-time-'jackpot'-deal. 

At first, anyway.

Nothing yet

Five months (and five 'tries') later, hubs is feeling increasingly anxious, and I'm (at last) feeling almost warmed up to the whole idea of gestating some offspring. 

Last month, I had felt 51% sure that I was pregnant. I was two days past my period, which usually comes on the 14th of every month. I felt really out of sorts - unhinged almost, and bloated. My A minus minus minus cup boobs were sore and had swelled to an A minus  minus size. AND, I dreamt that I was pregnant. 

It was all quite disconcerting.

As it turns out, early signs of pregnancy and PMS are quite alike. When I menstruated on 16 August, I was more relieved than disappointed. :p

A Strange kind of PMS

Anyway, this time, when my period was late in coming, I didn't think much of it. 

(I did bleed on the 14th and thought 'Oh well, try again next month', but the full-on menstruation deluge mysteriously did not occur.)

I've been late by as much as four days in the past. 

But I had never been late five days.

Or six.

And my boobs were actually looking like A minus. Huge! (by my standards).

To Pee or Not to Pee

I had been going on and on about all the above to hubs. He had patiently listened to my misgivings, complaints, and self-questionings. He had even confirmed that ye ole mammary glands seemed 'fuller'. 

Hubs:  Just do that pregnancy test la.

Me:     Okay... but it will just be a waste if I get my period tomorrow. 

(I bought the 'First Response' test from Walmart for $1).

Hubs:  Never mind. (Malaysian for "It's okay lah")

A Little Bit Pregnant

I got to the bathroom, rummaged around and found the Test, ripped open the package and started taking stuff out of it. Realizing I didn't know quite what to do with all that stuff, and also that I had only one test, i.e., one chance to get it right... I decided to read the Instruction Manual. 

The Instruction Manual was really long-winded. I stopped reading when got to the part where it said to use the dropper to place three full drops of pee onto the 'S' of the Pee Stick. I sprung into action. I peed into a cup, squeezed three droplets of pee onto the 'S'. I watched the moisture from the pee travel upward to the Result Window.

Then I realized I didn't know what the line on the Result Window meant.

I was going back and forth between the Manual and the Pee Stick: 

Manual Says: Single Line = Try Again. Double Line = Your Life is Going to Change Big Time. 

Pee Stick Says: Single Line.

I took a deep breath and felt relief-disappointment...

Erm. Wait. 

Pee Stick Says: Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry faint additional line.

Manual Says: A Double line where one line is fainter than the other = You Pregnant

Oh.

As the seconds ticked down to the 60 second mark, that barely discernable additional line became darker, and more solid. Like magic. 

At the 60 second mark, I was looking at two lines. I guess I didn't expect or believe it. So I went back to hubs with the Pee Stick and Manual in hand, and shoved it at him wordlessly.

He looked at the Pee Stick then at the Manual, then at the Pee Stick. Then he said 'Baby'. He gathered me into his arms and started laughing and (maybe even) crying. I cried a bit also.

We talked for a while after that. Then, I went to shower.

I didn't sleep hardly at all that night.